Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Fun of Tech Support !!!

Usually people think that it is easy to talk and the people in call centers are nothing has to do other than talking and they get paid for it.
If you are also in the same view and want to get paid for what you want to talk, this is a must read for you. please read and enjoy the below jokes and then you will come to know about the joy of speaking on phone from a call center as a technical support guy. The joy would be double if the person you are talking to is a non technical and unable to understand your technical terminology and even more fun when he relates your words from his perspective.
So, all these things would make fun but you have to understand the trouble of the Call Center support people. Anyways for time being we are interested in the Fun part now.

Lets enjoy these jokes.

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok."

Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what itsays."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer : "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech support : ##### ***

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer : "A white one."

Tech support : ******_____####

7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++

8) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Tech support : ??????

9) Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Tech Support : ?!%#$

10) Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech support : ??????

11) Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech support : @@@@@

12) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

13) Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support:: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with

NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file.. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Hope you understand the problems Customer care and tech support guys.

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. I am a proud participant of this Race !!!!