Time Pass One liners

• There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
• I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
  
• I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
• There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
• A man is often a bad adviser to himself and a good adviser to another.
  
• May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight.
  
• Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid!!!
  
• They certainly give very strange names to diseases.
• Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
  
• Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
  
• If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
  
• Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
• It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
• An author doesn't necessarily understand the meaning of his own story better than anyone else.
• Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid!!!
• He who is not strong must needs be cunning.
• If you are lucky enough to be Indian, then you are lucky enough.
  
• I can count my money, I don't have a billion dollars :(
  
• You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
• I can resist everything except temptation.
• Not every story has explosions and car chases. That's why they have nudity and espionage.
• The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands.
  
• Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
• Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
• Getting caught is the mother of invention.
  
• The race isn't over, coz I haven't won yet.
• Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form.
  
• Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
  
• All generalizations are false, including this one.
  
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  
• People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.
• Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.
• Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!
• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
• SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!
• Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
• I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.
• You may laugh because I’m different, but I laugh because you’re all the same.
  
• Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
• 63% of all statistics are made up... including this one.....
• A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
• Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil.
• We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
• Always and never are the two words you should always remember never to use.
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
• if u think u can, u 'CAN.... And if U think U CAN'T u r right....
• Men who made history had little time to write it
• No one believes forecasts, but we all want to hear them.
• You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
• Laziness is the mother of all vice... but, it's a mother and you should respect her!
• A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.
• Success is relative - the more success, the more relatives.
• Everybody has a photographic memory. . . . Some don't have film.
• Great men are not always wise.
• I found the key to success :) .... somebody Changed the lock :(
• There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
• If you believe everything you read, don't read.
• No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it.
• Those who grew up without any particular skills end up in marketing.
• Its better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right question.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Trust in God but lock your Bike.
• Nothing fails like success.
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
• Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
• Hell, there are no rules here-- we're trying to accomplish something.
• I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
• It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
• {Earth's gravity is a myth! it sucks}
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
• Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• You either have to be first, best, or different.
• Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
• If you like me raise your hand, if not raise your standard !!!
• There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
• Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
• Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.
• Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
• Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
• Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
• That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
• I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
• A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
• I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
• The best way out is always through.
• Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.
• Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
• Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
• If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you're having enough.
• Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
• Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
• Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
• God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
• You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
• People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
• Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
• There are some people who live in a Dream World, And There are some who face Reality; And Then there are those who turn One into the Other
• To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
• Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
• Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
• I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
• Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
• People wish to be settled: only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.
• Everything in the universe goes by indirection. There are no straight lines.
• If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
• Strategic planning is worthless -- unless there is first a strategic vision.
• Goals are discovered, not made.
• No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
  
• Boredom: the desire for desires.
• The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
• Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
• What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
• Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
• I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
• Economy in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
• Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
• Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'.
• In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
• Hatred is love frustrated.
• I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
• There are so many little dyings that it doesn't matter which of them is death.
• Freedom is like taking a bath -- you have to keep doing it every day!
• My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
  
• You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
• Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
• You guys line up alphabetically by height :O
• If you are not living the life on Edge, You are taking too much Space ;)
• I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
• God must love stupid people; He made so many.
• You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
• Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
• I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
• If you are going through hell, keep going.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
• If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
• A witty saying proves nothing.
• Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
• Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
• God, please save me from your followers!
• A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
• Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
• Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
• Death is hereditary.
• Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
• Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
• Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
• Intelligence is not trying.
• Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.
  
• Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

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