Alcohol One liners

• Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
• You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
• I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
• Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend !!!!
• I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
• There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
• Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
• Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.

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