- Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
- Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
- Born free, taxed to death.
- Nobody ever got a job by being completely honest on their resume..make ur lies bold, creative and above all, unverifiable!
- Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
- Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
- When did ignorance become a point of view?
- And remember, money is no object... unless you intend to spend it.
- Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
- Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
- It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
- A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
- The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
- In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
- As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination
- Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
- The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
- Someday is not a day of the week.
- Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Inspirational One Liners
Marriage One liners
Full Time pass Quotes