Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dilbert One liners

  • Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
  • Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
  • Born free, taxed to death.
  • Nobody ever got a job by being completely honest on their resume..make ur lies bold, creative and above all, unverifiable!
  • Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
  • Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
  • When did ignorance become a point of view?
  • And remember, money is no object... unless you intend to spend it.
  • Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
  • If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
  • It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
  • A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
  • The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
  • In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
  • As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination
  • Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
  • The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
  • Someday is not a day of the week.
  • Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Related Links:

Inspirational One Liners

Marriage One liners

Full Time pass Quotes

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About Me

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. I am a proud participant of this Race !!!!