My Ideas and Ideals (V 1.0): Dilbert One liners

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
Born free, taxed to death.
Nobody ever got a job by being completely honest on their resume..make ur lies bold, creative and above all, unverifiable!
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
When did ignorance become a point of view?
And remember, money is no object... unless you intend to spend it.
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
As you gain experience, you'll realize that all logical questions are considered insubordination
Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
Someday is not a day of the week.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.