Too much of Object orientation !!!

This just came in my mind after a long day of training on plugin development in java.
Interface ShortTermTravel {
         Void    prepareVisaDocuments(String... docs);
         Void   getPhotoFromGkVale();
         Boolean   validateDocuments(String... docs);
         Double  getForex(String estimation);
         Long   getMatrixCard(String CountryCode);
         Void    packBags(Object[] foodItems, Object[] clothes, Object[] misc);
        
}
Everybody has to go implement this interface who want to go for a short term trip.
But the implementation could be different from company to company :D
Happy travelling ♡

Developers Comments ....

These are the comments people found in their code while debugging the old applications. These so called Legacy applications suck many times while debugging. But the comments mentioned in this code might be a relief for the developers who are trying to understand the code. Most hilarious comments we have seen so far are as below. Njoi

•  You're not a real developer if you've never left an apology comment for the next person! :P
• //Jesus and this code have one thing in common: both were resurrected
• // TODO:HACK: remove me after demo is shipped.   
• else { // requirement says this would never happen!! }  

Related Link:

Funny Software Oneliners
Other funny Quotations 
Are you a fan of Dilbert ? 
Samsung Wallpapers !!!
Others ...  

Software One liners

• The only risk of failure is promotion.
• I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
• Nobody ever got a job by being completely honest on their resume..make ur lies bold, creative and above all, unverifiable!
• Work is for losers. A winner says 'That's on my list' and never commits to a deadline.
• You're in H.R. now, it's ok to be evil.
• As you gain experience, you'll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination.
• Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work.
• S/W Enginner: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
• Lately the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labour.
• An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.
• Today I started hating people in advance.It saves time.
• It's not all that fun to have nothing to do; the real fun is in having a lot to do and not doing it...
• A crisis is when you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".
• A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• Starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises.
• Tomorrow is a mystery, why try and fix it today?
• Manager:you're not me,therefore you're irrelevant !
• I get mail; therefore I am :).
• I'll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
• Success always declared as private and failure as public.
• How you measure the performance of your managers directly proportional the way they act.
• Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
• I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
• Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.
• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
• For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
• Ascii stupid question, get a stupid Ansi!
• My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
• I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control !!!
• TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters only one row of the keyboard.
• The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.
• As I know more of managers I expect less of them, and am ready now to call a manager a good manager, upon easier terms than I was formerly.
• If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
• It's not a bug; it's an undocumented feature.
• Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to continue....
• If your Boss can't say No to His Boss, Change the Job.
• Time is so short, you can't make a debug...
• Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
• Don't fix it if it ain't broke.
• Nothing shocks me. I'm a Software Engineer
  
• This is an object-oriented system. If we change anything, the users object.

Related Posts:

Alcohol One liners

Other Funny Oneliners

Concept Selling ?

You must be thinking what RaviKiran is going to talk about the Concept selling.
As you all know that I am software engineer by profession and not into sales and marketing.
Yes, you are right....... I am not much into Sales and marketing and even you can say I a big Zero in these concepts, but still today I want to discuss the concept called Concept Selling.
Let's not waste time and get into our business now.

Def:
The philosophy or orientation of an organisation which emphasises aggressive selling to achieve its objectives. Firms characterised by this approach often rely upon pressure selling and manipulative sales techniques to win business.

I think you understand what is concept selling now and how the concept selling companies work.

Oh ...... Don't say you don't understand this ...... if you didn't understand this simple definition then how will you survive in this world.
hmmmm
Let me give an example for you .....

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: I want to choose my own bride.

Dad: But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter.

Son: Well, in that case......yes.


Next, the dad approaches Bill Gates



Dad: I have a husband for your daughter.

Bill: But my daughter is too young to marry.

Dad: But this young man is a vice-President of the World Bank.

Bill: Ah, in that case.....yes.



Finally, the dad goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Dad: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.

President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need.

Dad: But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law.

President: Ah, in that case.......yes.


Now, this is what concept selling!!

Hope you all enjoyed this concept. Keep Smiling :-)

Fun of Tech Support !!!

Usually people think that it is easy to talk and the people in call centers are nothing has to do other than talking and they get paid for it.
If you are also in the same view and want to get paid for what you want to talk, this is a must read for you. please read and enjoy the below jokes and then you will come to know about the joy of speaking on phone from a call center as a technical support guy. The joy would be double if the person you are talking to is a non technical and unable to understand your technical terminology and even more fun when he relates your words from his perspective.
So, all these things would make fun but you have to understand the trouble of the Call Center support people. Anyways for time being we are interested in the Fun part now.

Lets enjoy these jokes.

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok."

Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what itsays."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer : "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech support : ##### ***

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer : "A white one."

Tech support : ******_____####

7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++

8) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Tech support : ??????

9) Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Tech Support : ?!%#$

10) Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech support : ??????

11) Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech support : @@@@@

12) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

13) Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support:: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with

NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file.. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Hope you understand the problems Customer care and tech support guys.