తెలుగు సినిమా డైలాగు !!!

ఎవరో ఓ కవి వర్యుడు చెప్పినట్టు 

"కుట్టిన కొద్ది చిరిగే లాగు ? 

తెలుగు సినిమా డైలాగు !!! "

కాని మనకు ఎన్నో సినిమా డైలాగ్స్ మర్చిపోలేని ముద్ర వేసాయి. వాటిలో కొన్ని నాకు నచ్చిన డైలాగులు ..... మీ కోసం. 

 రావు గోపాల రావు విలనిజానికి కొత్త అర్ధం చెప్పిన విలన్. 
ముత్యాల ముగ్గు 
- చరిత్ర చెరిపేస్తే చెరిగిపోదు, చిమ్పేస్తే చిరిగిపోదు. 
- సెగట్రీ, ఆకాశం లో మర్డర్ జరిగినట్టు లేదూ, సూర్యుడు చూడు ఎర్రగా ఎలా ఉన్నడో? 
- మడిసి అన్నాక కుసింత కలాపోసన ఉండాల
- సినేమా కతలు చెప్పద్దు, డిక్కీలో తోన్గో పెట్టేస్తాను. 

బ్రహ్మానందం ఈ పేరు వింటేనే తెలుగు సినీ ప్రేక్షకులు ముఖములలో నవ్వులు.

- ఖాన్ తొ గేమ్స్ ఆడద్దు , సాల్తిలు లేచిపోతై !!!

- ఐ వాంట్ టు టాక్ టు నెల్లూరు పెద్దారెడ్డి రైట్ నౌ !!!
- నీళ్ళు అంటే పారిస్ వాళ్ళకి కూడా భయమే .... అందుకే వంతెన కట్టేరు. 
- జాక్సన్ మైక్హెల్ జాక్సన్ !!!
- పెన్ అనుకున్నవా గన్ను !!! 


ఎస్విఆర్ - నటనకి మరో రూపం అది విలన్ కాని క్యారెక్టర్ రోల్ కాని ... ఎస్వీఆర్ నెం. 1
- సాహసం సేయరా డింభకా, రాకుమారి దక్కుతుంది !!!
- గెడ్డం తీసివేసినానే బుల్ బుల్ !!! చెంత చేరవే బుల్ బుల్ !!!
- అదే అదే (మానరిజం ఇన్ మిస్సమ్మ )


మరి కొన్ని ........ ..
సినిమాలు  చూడటం లేదేంటి ?

నేను చెట్టును నమ్ముతాను కాయని నమ్మను, చెట్టు మంచిది ఐతే కాయ ఆటోమాటిక్ గా మంచిది అవుతుంది.
ఉల్లి పాయలు కోసిన వాడికి కన్నీళ్ళు ఊరి నుంచి వచ్చిన వాడికి కన్నీళ్లు తప్పదు.
మీరు ఓటు వేసిన వాడు మంత్రి, కాదు అన్నవాడు కంత్రి !!!
కాస్కో నా వాస్కోడిగామా మరో స్వతంత్ర పోరాటం.
ఎందుకు ఇష్టమో చెప్పలేను కాని ...ఎంత ఇష్టమో చెప్పగలను. 

Related Links :

నా తెలుగు రాతలు !!!

నవ్వుల వాక్యాలు ...మీ కోసం  


మీరు మందు మానేద్దాం అనుకుంటున్నారా ?

Journey Of Comedy in Tollywood

Telugu Film Industry which is now known as Tollywood. I don't know from when it became Tollywood, but the comedy of this industry must be much older than this name. I don't know when the first comedy movie got released, still I am sure it is started from the time of Dumb movies. I believe the first Indian movie was "Raja Harishchandra(1913)" must have some comedy scenes for sure.In early 1940's we started having Talkie movies. Though I am very young to talk about the comedy from beginning of Cinema industry in India, Whatever movies I have seen I feel there is tremendous changes happened in each and every section of the cinema like Direction, Music and Technology like Animation and last but not least Acting of Actors [I don't want to comment on any Hero now :P]. But here ...

I would like to write some of my comments on the Comedy those I noticed from many years. I watched many movies from 1950's till now. I think "Mayabazar" and "Patalabhairavi" came in 1950's. From that time I watched many movies till now.
I think Ramana Reddy and Relangi would be the first slot of full time comedians in telugu industry. I could remember many of those actors scenes by watching it you could laugh for hours. Even if you remember some scenes you cannot control your laughter.
I would say Relangi acting in Mayabazar, Missamma, Illarikam, Narthanasala and many more.
My favorite dialog of Relangi is 'Tailam ...Tailam padayyendi sir' and "Sundari aha Sundari" song in Mayabazar.
Relangi
Relangi is one of the finest comedians Telugu industry has got, and nobody can deny that too.
I should mention is acting in both Social movies as well as Pouraanikams. He was the best suite for Uttara Kumarudu who is jealous of Abhimanyu in Mayaabazar. Another best example would be in missamma movie he ask bribe to ANR every time he ask some info about the NTR and savitri's flash back. Those sequences are really great and ever green.

Ramana Reddy
His personality is a big plus for Ramana Reddy and his expressions are tremendous in some movies. You can not stop laughing if you see the song "Ayayo chetilo Poyene" from Kulagothralu.
In Gundamma kadha he is brother of Suryakantam, his character in this movie is mix of cunning villan but still he could produce much comedy out of it.

I think after these two legendary comedians the industry trend got changed a little bit. I believe the comedians got more prominence and some are settled as a comedy villeins as well. the next person in that list would be Allu Ramalingiah and Rajababu. In this the variation is Allu was from the period of Relangi and Ramana Reddy he was doing very small roles in those films where the charm was taken by Relangi most of the times. He could pick up well in 1970's. I think it started from Sambarala Rambabu and Andala Ramudu.

Allu Rama Lingaiah
He is great comedian and actor for sure. I would say he is an actor rather than a Comedian. because he acted as character artist in many movies and his performance in those movies also was extraordinary. I should give examples of Andala Ramudu as "Tee Taa" Teesesina Taseeldaar he could generate some healthy humor. I personally like the his performance in Sankarabharanam movie as Raju friend of Sankara Shastry. His best dialog was "meeru yaajulu memu raajulam" okari maata okaru gouravinchukovali mari. ee saariki ala kanicheyyandi.

The next one in the list none other than Rajababu and Padmanabham. When they became popular the comedy trend got little changed. Padmanabham played some good characters and Rajababu was also prooved himself as a good actor through "Tata Manavadu" but the comedy trend became little bit changed. They started getting priority and most of the times these characters are around Hero and praising hero all the time. Some seperate comedy tracks irrespective of movie scope. This is not at all relevant to the main story and creating some songs just for fun with some side actress. This song trend went for many years for comedians in the industry.


The next part to be continued .......


Related Links:
Naa Telugu Raatalu

My Other Scriblings

My Quotations Collections

Funny Stories ...

My Photography ?

We need a Software God?

Hey,

Software Engineer, very easy to detect him as he will be very sad on Monday and happy on Friday.
Of course there are exceptions to all .... coz there are people working on 24*7 support also :-(
And in today's world the life of millions of people is in 1's and 0's.
Best example lies here.

Anyway that is not our topic now. I was lately facing many technical problems and I was praying god to solve all my problems. but I was thinking which GOD would be best suited for this.

Because in Indian mythology there are specific gods for specific things. Like for Rains you should pray Varuna Dev and for Money you should pray Lakshmi Devi and so on....
when our ancestors defined these gods they don't know computer and software, hardware, technical support etc. otherwise they would have defined the gods for each purpose. Now if we have a .Net or Java or QTP code issue or we are unable to solve a server level issue like clustering or data replication or concurrency issues, to whom I have to pray.

By now you might be saving that what the heck....... Ravi doesn't know the software God yet !!!

How could he survive for these many years in software with out knowing a software God ?

Yes you are right ....

I already know your answer Search Engine (and now most of the people refer this as Google).

But I think this is not God... This calls a debate among us, but I this is more like a "Binary Code Man".
This Binary Code Man means it is like a super hero, HeMan, SpiderMan or a SuperMan. This will give us info if it has and most of the complex problems will have many solutions in forums which are not suitable for you or misleading. Yes, I do agree that this will definitely point you to something which will be useful for you. But it might not solve your complete problem as expected.
So, I mean there are always limitations to the Super heros. But anything is possible to God. I would like to have some Gods to pray when I am stuck with complex problems.

If you too think the same, lets pray to some other god to grant us a god who will take care of this new portfolio called Computers and Software, later we might think to add more categories like Tech support and BPO in the same God's profile.

Thanks.


Related Links:

Who Moved My Cheese?

Hollywood Hero in Bollywood

All Funny Oneliner Collection

Time Pass One liners

• There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
• I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
  
• I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
• There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.
• A man is often a bad adviser to himself and a good adviser to another.
  
• May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight.
  
• Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid!!!
  
• They certainly give very strange names to diseases.
• Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
  
• Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
  
• If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.
  
• Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
• It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
• An author doesn't necessarily understand the meaning of his own story better than anyone else.
• Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid!!!
• He who is not strong must needs be cunning.
• If you are lucky enough to be Indian, then you are lucky enough.
  
• I can count my money, I don't have a billion dollars :(
  
• You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
• I can resist everything except temptation.
• Not every story has explosions and car chases. That's why they have nudity and espionage.
• The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands.
  
• Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
• Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
• Getting caught is the mother of invention.
  
• The race isn't over, coz I haven't won yet.
• Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form.
  
• Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
  
• All generalizations are false, including this one.
  
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  
• People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.
• Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it.
• Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• F.E.A.R.: F**k Everything And Run!
• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
• SEX is not the answer. SEX is the question and YES is the answer!!
• Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
• I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either.
• You may laugh because I’m different, but I laugh because you’re all the same.
  
• Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
• 63% of all statistics are made up... including this one.....
• A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
• Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil.
• We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
• Always and never are the two words you should always remember never to use.
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
• if u think u can, u 'CAN.... And if U think U CAN'T u r right....
• Men who made history had little time to write it
• No one believes forecasts, but we all want to hear them.
• You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
• Laziness is the mother of all vice... but, it's a mother and you should respect her!
• A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.
• Success is relative - the more success, the more relatives.
• Everybody has a photographic memory. . . . Some don't have film.
• Great men are not always wise.
• I found the key to success :) .... somebody Changed the lock :(
• There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
• If you believe everything you read, don't read.
• No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it.
• Those who grew up without any particular skills end up in marketing.
• Its better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right question.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Trust in God but lock your Bike.
• Nothing fails like success.
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
• Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
• Hell, there are no rules here-- we're trying to accomplish something.
• I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
• It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
• {Earth's gravity is a myth! it sucks}
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
• Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
• I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• You either have to be first, best, or different.
• Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
• If you like me raise your hand, if not raise your standard !!!
• There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
• Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
• Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.
• Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
• Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
• Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
• That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
• I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
• A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
• I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
• The best way out is always through.
• Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.
• Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
• Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
• If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you're having enough.
• Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
• Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
• Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
• God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
• You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
• People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
• Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
• There are some people who live in a Dream World, And There are some who face Reality; And Then there are those who turn One into the Other
• To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
• Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
• Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.
• I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
• Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
• People wish to be settled: only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.
• Everything in the universe goes by indirection. There are no straight lines.
• If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
• Strategic planning is worthless -- unless there is first a strategic vision.
• Goals are discovered, not made.
• No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
  
• Boredom: the desire for desires.
• The future has a way of arriving unannounced.
• Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
• What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
• Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
• I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
• Economy in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
• Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
• Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'.
• In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.
• Hatred is love frustrated.
• I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
• There are so many little dyings that it doesn't matter which of them is death.
• Freedom is like taking a bath -- you have to keep doing it every day!
• My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
  
• You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
• Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
• You guys line up alphabetically by height :O
• If you are not living the life on Edge, You are taking too much Space ;)
• I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay.
• God must love stupid people; He made so many.
• You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.
• Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.
• I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
• Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
• If you are going through hell, keep going.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
• If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
• A witty saying proves nothing.
• Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
• Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
• God, please save me from your followers!
• A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
• Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
• Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
• Death is hereditary.
• Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
• Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
• Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
• Intelligence is not trying.
• Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.
  
• Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Related Links:
Other Funny One liners

Funny Stories of Life

My Writings !!!

Semi up / Semi Down :) [Hostel Days XI]

P.S: Sorry for the delay happened to get back to you with the latest edition of my Hostel Days XI.

Guyz,
I believe most of the team members remember the title Semi Up and Semi Down, because it is the most popular dialog in our Panchmadi trip.
Panchmadi, the beautiful forest and hill station in Madhya Pradesh. I think that is the year 2002 – Oct/Nov month. Our senior in college Rajesh Dange’s sister marriage was there in a village called Nandan, M.P. We all in the hostel planned to go for this wedding to help him in the marriage. But we even had a plan to visit Panchmadi the hill station of MP. Of course this was a known plan, the journey itself was a life time memory to many of us. While going we went from Nagpur to Chindwara by train and from there a memorable bus journey of 3-4 hrs till Nandan.
Somehow we reached the place Nandan and asked somebody how to reach Dange’s house, as it is a small village we thought anybody can help us and even that was correct and we got the ‘s information, but the guy who explained the root in the below funny way – go straight , “take first left, you will get a SEMI UP, then take a right from there, you will get SEMI DOWN, go till the end you will find the house”. From that day our trip was of a week and wherever we found up or down we used to laugh for a minute. Anyways we went to the temple of Nandan on a hill in the evening it was really awesome place to stay for some time and see the nice sun set from there.
The next day was the marriage, we enjoyed the marriage lunch and we started for Panchmadi from there next day.

We took a TRAX to reach our destination; it was a awesome and pleasant drive through grazing lands, drenches, forests, woods etc to reach our destination. By the time we reached it was little dark and we planned for camp fire but didn’t work. . We got some accommodation and settled well for the night and took rest to start our expedition from next day. We went to many points next day the places I remember are ‘Bees fall, Chota Maha Dev, Bada Maha Dev, Pandav Kund, Draupadi Kund, Sun Set Point and most important one …. Duchess Fall.’
Most of these places were pleasant and gave us a really good memories for life time.
Some highlights I would like to re-collect are
- Baid (Sachin Vaidya) ‘s Bhalu and Share. When we went to Duchess Fall there are large sign boards saying that is a Tiger Zone. When we are walking towards to fall there was some movement before some feet, we all stopped for a moment Baid said, it’s a Tiger……., but after few seconds one Dog came out of the bush. The same happened in the “Bear Zone”
- Bada Maha Dev – This is an unforgettable place with millions of Trishuls all over the hill. The size of these Tishuls goes from 2-3 cms to 2-3 meters, climb the hill with out carrying anything in your hands would be very difficult for a healthy person and Ia can’t even imagine the people carry the 2-3 meter size trishul while climbing this hill.
- Draupadi Kund – this is the place where many shootings took place like Shahrukh Khan ‘Asoka’. The chilling water in this place was created a doubt that we have our feet after few minutes in water. The tea we had after coming out from this kund was awesome and the costliest ever I had before that day .

- Duchess fall – This was the best part of our trip as many people on the way to this place told us not to go there, we became very curious and wanted to see what exactly it is. Our driver took us to a place where we can’t see any water near by and told us to take one path and walk for some time to reach the water fall. We started walking for 10- 15 minutes and we don’t even hear any voice but we realized that we are going downwards from a hill peak we walked for 10 more minutes to hear some voice of water and after 10 more minutes walk we finally reached the water fall. After coming back we realized that we went down for 800 feet and came back. While going there we had lot of fun as mentioned above.
So, that’s all for now let’s meet again with some other story after some time ………..

The HVPM group at Nandan

Buffalo Theory

Guyz,
I am not sure how many of you aware of this theory. I heard this theory couple of years back and I liked this very much and you have to agree the fact this theory brings in. This is a must read for all "Mandli" people. I would like to see all your comments on this .......

Here you go ............ :


"A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Related Links:

Funny Alcohol Oneliners
Alcohol Makes you think ....

Things an Indian Does after returning from U.S

Here I would like to share some points I thought about myself. I could really see these things not all.....but definitely some changes are there in myself, If you think you have some more in you please add. 1. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes. 2. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel. 3. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious. 4. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath. 5. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'. 6. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi". Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds". Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi". Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit". Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway". Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go". Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four) Says "Buddy" or "Dude" instead of "Yaar" or "dear". 7. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out. 8. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs) 9. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times). 10. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk packet. 11. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed) 12. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!" 13. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions. 14. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag". 15. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff. 16. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke. 17. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time. 18. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule". 19. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food. Few more important 20. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival. 21. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads. Ultimate one: 22. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

Sign Board of the Day

I made it !!!

First in the Google.com search result

Here I would like to share my success of getting my blog as the first result in the google search.
You must be thinking what is so great in this. most of the websites would be getting returned on the first place. There could be, but for me it is great achievement with in 45 days span.
If you are promoting your blog and you could achieve this in this short span and already got 100 organic hits on your blog with in this short span is a big thing for me. When I started blogging it just was a time pass. and now when I started this many people keep asking me, there are no updates to your blog this week? this makes me happy that people are keep watching my blog and started reading them and liking them which is more important. So I started a regular blogging in past 2 months.
I am working for a Internet company and I know many things we can do using internet where as many software engineers don't know that. If you are aware of SEO (Search Engine Optimization) techniques you will defenitely make these blogs very easily popular and reach many users to your blog. Definitely everybody want to popularize their blogs and putting efforts for the same.
But I feel the content is the key for this and you have to keep putting content in your blog rather than following all other techniques. and I am following the same here.
Anyways I am happy that other than my name if I search something else still my blog appears on the first place of course not for all key words. whatever the content relevant in the blog would defenitely making the difference :)
Thanks a lot for all you ......regular visitors of my blog ....... who helped me achieving this result in short time.

Fortune Cookie

I heard recently a truth. "No one believes forecast and every one wants to hear them !!!"

On this point I also agree but not always. There are many people out there who look at the fortune column of their news paper every day. I was one of them for many years. I am not saying now I won't look at it, but not that ofter {the real reason is I stopped buying a news paper daily :-}.

Anyways, when I was in school not in basic high school I used to see a person sitting with a parrot in a cage and lot of cards in front of the cage. I used to see every day that people come to that fellow and pay some money so that the Parrot to pick a card from the stack and whatever written in that card would be his fortune. This is know as Parrot Fortune and the rural public of India particularly in southern parts are very much into it.

When I was in college I know that there are many softwares reveal a lot about you and your nature when you give inputs like name, DOB, place of birth etc. It even generates your "Chakra" based on the inputs etc, we used to spend lot of time on these time waste software. I don't even remember the name of the software now.

I was crazy to read the news paper "Ganesha Says" column in TOI when I came to Pune as a fresher to search a job and we used to super impose those comments on all our friends if anything wrong on anybody fortune. I used to make fun of the guys who believe this but I used to read it every day. even I used to read it for mine and think it would happen if anything positive written.

I know that movie stars even believe in Numerology than the astrology. I read this kind of stuff in Page 3 of TOI. I heard that kareena renamed her name with kkareena just to add one more letter as her numerologist suggested it, and many more people renamed their name accordingly.

There are many sites like rediff, yahoo, sify, indiatimes all these sites provide fortune of the day straight to your inbox if you get registered. I know many of my friends subscribe for this.
Now people become more busy and don't have time to read his daily fortune in a paper or even in an Email. So the sites like Orkut providing the fortune of the day in one line. I even read the fortune of the day every day in Orkut nowadays. I believe most of my friends do that too.

I love orkut's way of telling fortune. I would love to give some examples
"You have an unusual equipment for success, use it properly"
"Your principles mean more to you than any money or success"
"You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment"
"The time is right to make new friends"
"You are very expressive and positive in words, act and feeling"

I don't think any one of these is a fortune of the day. Do you think so?
They might have written thousands of one liners and they show it randomly. we all know this but want to read it and enjoy.

I thought this kind of people are there only in India. but when I went to US I realized that the thoughts of human beings are same despite of geographical location in the world.
When I went to Panda Express somebody told me here you will get fortune cookies. I was curious about these cookies as I never had a fortune cookie. I thought if I eat that cookie I will get fortune in return. but I came to know that there will be a slip inside the cookie which will reveal a statement something like above mentioned lines. and the sales for these cookies are very huge every day, this is a old Chinese custom to keep these fortune lines I think this is a marketing trick to sale the cookies.

Hostel Days (Part 1)

My Journey to M.C.A
(Master of Computer Applications OR Misuse Computers Always)
Let me introduce myself first "RaviKiran Perumalla" from Andra Pradesh a state in south India.. a belong to a town turned into a City called Rajamundry. I did my graduation in B.com from there. In those days I was planning to do CA (Charted Accountant) in those days as...But of course I ended up doing MCA as my parents and myself was not confident enough to complete the toughest course of CA. My family knows about my hard work for studies very well, now even my hostel mates know about that too.

Now when my family decided that MCA is the best course for me, they sent me for a short term coaching for the entrance exam. Even I didn't had any issues with the MCA as my cousin working for an MNC at that time for good Package told me that Software will be a leading industry in India soon..... which would give you potential career growth in future :)

As usual I did enjoyed the training period of 30 days in Viajayawada with my family friend Ravi Sankar and his friend cousins Atchiraju & Ram Raju. These training days flied by and the Exam day came and I was not ready for the exam as expected and got a rank in four figure (XXXX). Which intern tells me that I will not get a seat with this rank as I belong to O.C (Outlandish Cast).

Then I am left with no option than wasting one year at this point then I came to know about the University of Nagpur and Amravati University as my friend Ravi sankar's brother Phani Ram has joined there a year before. He sent both of us the applications and we landed in Nagpur and I got admission somehow though it is a little story ....Lets skip it for time being and I got the admission in Amravati University and joined a college called "DCPE" in the course MCA. This college is organized by a body called "HVPM".

Please don't laugh if I say DCPE means Degree College of Physical Education and HVPM stands for Hanuman Vyayam Prasarak Mandal. This college has a history of almost a century founded in 1914 to train the Indian activists for physical fitness who are fighting against the British govt run by England who ruled India for around 150 years.

Once I took the admission in the University Campus I roamed around the campus and pretty impressed with this campus and I was very curious to see my college campus which is 15 KM away from the University.It was already evening so I couldn't go to the college that day...and decided to visit next morning.

From this visit My life's 3 yrs was the Golden days I spent in that campus.....
Please watch the next posts ........
Next Parts - Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V

Who moved my Cheese !!!

Long time back I remember I read a book called Who Moved My Cheese!!!.
I guess most of you might have read this. What this book says is you have to move on in life, in Management terms it's all about Change management. How will you manage the changes you are going to get in your daily life. We know that everybody has to agree the change at some point. But the point is how soon you are going to take the steps to accept the change.
We even know the problem of Inflation all over the world, particularly in India. Now we are almost reaching 12% as per the statistics of all major News channels and News papers in India. In this time if you want to control the inflation is it possible? or is there any way you could find for this?
If yes please let me know, I would like to tell this to P.Chidambaram who is the finance minister of India right now. Seriously I am not kidding.

Don't think that there is no relation between the first two paragraphs ....

I have an Idea which would seem like Inflation control is possible ....... But I am not 100% how it would work.

But it is really interesting to read the below story .......

Anyways..... now the point is I got a Mail today which gives you the idea of that you have to start at some point to change this Inflation.

Story:

A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goes to the Kirana store he pays Rs. 12 a dozen. Since a dozen eggs won't last a week he normally buys two dozens at a time. One day while buying eggs he notices that the price has risen to Rs. 16. The next time he buys groceries, eggs are Rs. 22 a dozen.

When asked to explain the price of eggs the store owner says, "The price has gone up and I have to raise my price accordingly". This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day. He checked around for a better price and all the distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms. The small egg farms have been driven out of business. The huge egg farms sell 100,000 dozen eggs a day to distributors. With no competition, they can set the price as they see fit. The distributors then have to raise their prices to the grocery stores. And on and on and on.

As the man kept buying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the big egg trucks delivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there. He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling 100,000 dozen eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing had changed but the price of eggs.

Then week before Diwali the price of eggs shot up to Rs. 40 a dozen. Again he asked the grocery owner why and was told, "Cakes and baking for the holiday". The huge egg farmers know there will be a lot of baking going on and more eggs will be used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up. Expect the same thing at Christmas and other times when family cooking, baking, etc. happen.

This pattern continues until the price of eggs is Rs. 60 a dozen. The man says, " There must be something we can do about the price of eggs".

He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decide to stop buying eggs. This didn't work because everyone needed eggs.

Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need. He ate 2 eggs a day. On the way home from work he would stop at the grocery and buy two eggs. Everyone in town started buying 2 or 3 eggs a day.

The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too many eggs in his cooler. He told the distributor that he didn't need any eggs.
Maybe wouldn't need any all week.

The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse. He told the huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs would not need any for at least two weeks.

At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs. To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributor that they could buy the eggs at a lower price.

The distributor said, " I don't have the room for the %$&^*&% eggs even if they were free". The distributor told the grocery store owner that he would lower the price of the eggs if the store would start buying
again.

The grocery store owner said, "I don't have room for more eggs. The customers are only buying 2 or 3 eggs at a time. Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to the original price, the customers
would start buying by the dozen again".

The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers but the egg farmers liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, those chickens just kept on laying. Finally, the egg farmers lowered the
price of their eggs. But only a few paisa.

The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at a time. They said, "when the price of eggs gets down to where it was before, we will start buying by the dozen."

Slowly the price of eggs started dropping. The distributors had to slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming from the egg farmers.

The egg farmers cut their prices because the distributors wouldn't buy at a higher price than they were selling eggs for. Anyway, they had full warehouses and wouldn't need eggs for quite a while.

And those chickens kept on laying.

Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they were throwing away eggs they couldn't sell.

The distributors started buying again because the eggs were priced to where the stores could afford to sell them at the lower price.

And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.

Think about it for a min, coz I am going to ask you some questions....

I agree the story is really nice but I have some Questions over here,
Will you agree for the same?
Now, Can we transpose this analogy to the gasoline/Gold/Vegetables/etc any industry?
I might not agree with this concept for 100%. As in the story there might not be only one big Egg Farm which produces the products.
Now a days there is a huge competition in every field and industry and there are huge ware houses for all types of products. Even the transportation is too fast and economize these days and by all means you can send the goods all over the world instead of distributing only in a town.
By considering all these points I don't think this theory might not applicable for all products and industries.

But Still I appreciate the Idea of the author and the approach he took to solve the problem.

I appreciate your ideas too, if you could share.

Concept Selling ?

You must be thinking what RaviKiran is going to talk about the Concept selling.
As you all know that I am software engineer by profession and not into sales and marketing.
Yes, you are right....... I am not much into Sales and marketing and even you can say I a big Zero in these concepts, but still today I want to discuss the concept called Concept Selling.
Let's not waste time and get into our business now.

Def:
The philosophy or orientation of an organisation which emphasises aggressive selling to achieve its objectives. Firms characterised by this approach often rely upon pressure selling and manipulative sales techniques to win business.

I think you understand what is concept selling now and how the concept selling companies work.

Oh ...... Don't say you don't understand this ...... if you didn't understand this simple definition then how will you survive in this world.
hmmmm
Let me give an example for you .....

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: I want to choose my own bride.

Dad: But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter.

Son: Well, in that case......yes.


Next, the dad approaches Bill Gates



Dad: I have a husband for your daughter.

Bill: But my daughter is too young to marry.

Dad: But this young man is a vice-President of the World Bank.

Bill: Ah, in that case.....yes.



Finally, the dad goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Dad: I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.

President: But I already have more vice-presidents than I need.

Dad: But this young man is Bill Gate's son-in-law.

President: Ah, in that case.......yes.


Now, this is what concept selling!!

Hope you all enjoyed this concept. Keep Smiling :-)

Fun of Tech Support !!!

Usually people think that it is easy to talk and the people in call centers are nothing has to do other than talking and they get paid for it.
If you are also in the same view and want to get paid for what you want to talk, this is a must read for you. please read and enjoy the below jokes and then you will come to know about the joy of speaking on phone from a call center as a technical support guy. The joy would be double if the person you are talking to is a non technical and unable to understand your technical terminology and even more fun when he relates your words from his perspective.
So, all these things would make fun but you have to understand the trouble of the Call Center support people. Anyways for time being we are interested in the Fun part now.

Lets enjoy these jokes.

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok."

Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."

Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what itsays."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer : "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

5) Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech support : ##### ***

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer : "A white one."

Tech support : ******_____####

7) Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++

8) Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Tech support : ??????

9) Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Tech Support : ?!%#$

10) Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech support : ??????

11) Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech support : @@@@@

12) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

13) Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support:: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with

NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file.. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
Hope you understand the problems Customer care and tech support guys.

Hollywood Hero in Bollywood.

When my manager Mike was in India we went for a lunch which took more than 2 hrs to have lunch. Can you imagine what could we discuss about in this team lunch?

My team is really informal because of my Manager Mike who is young, dynamic and look like a model (in my team mates view ;) ) is so cool and ready for any kind of discussion.

If you see the recent trend in Bollywood, producers are ready to keep some Hollywood actresses as hero-ins for Bollywood movies. When my mate asked him why didn’t you try modeling he said I won’t fit in the criteria of a model over there as I am less height (only 6 feet) and many more reasons like he was not interested etc.

At this point I said in India there are many heros who doesn’t even have 5.5 feet and they are doing pretty well as hero. Why don’t you settle down in India and try in Bollywood.

Then he said I am ready if somebody is ready to produce then I said why don’t you produce yourself so that you can enjoy the whole profits you are going to make as I am dam sure that the movie is going to be a block buster.

Then the Question was who is going to direct this block buster?

What would be the script?

Etc.

I took the responsibility of the script, screenplay and direction.

Don’t worry, as it is very easy in India only we have to watch 5-6 new movies and mix all these movies and create your own script out of it. I even need not see any movies now as I am seeing movies from bollywood since my childhood. I even watched lot of rajanikanth’s movies too for some special effects.

I started telling him the story now, before I start my outline Mike interrupted me and said for any movie to hit most of the people should relate the Hero role with them. I really appreciate his idea, I would like to relate to the Hero.

As a software engineer I couldn’t resist myself to make my Hero a software engineer.

He said most of the people might not relate, but I said already India has more than 2 million software engineers and many students looking forward to join software industry will admire Hero.

Then he agreed for this role and the story goes as below.

Story:

Hero working as a software engineer in California silicon valley with a big MNC. Life is going smooth as usual and enjoying weekends with his girl friend. But he got a new assignment to train his team in India and sent to India for a short term trip. In this time one day suddenly bomb blasts in the silicon valley and the entire software industry is down. All the big companies have head quarters in silicon valley and they are smashed so all the companies in India too closed and all the software professionals are on the road now. The suspect for these blasts is none other than “Bin Laden”, although nobody knows whether he is alive or not ;-).

Interpol and CIA starts investigating this and the Hero in India couldn’t go back as he doesn’t have money to go back and he even don’t have anybody in US now as he lost everybody in this blast.

The situation India become worse as all the software people lost their jobs and no money to live and re pay their huge home loans and all the banks are in debt as they gave huge amounts on home loans and the real estate is down as nobody has money to buy home now and the Indian economy is down.

So begging became a good profession to take up and most of the software professionals are enjoying this profession too. And our Hero is not an exception for this, he lost his job, money and girl friend now is so sad and grown a very big beard and wandering on the roads. When he was wandering on the road he touch a saint and he get some magic power from this saint. But Hero is not aware of this power he got. The power is whenever he touch somebody he can see his/her flash back like a movie. After getting this power he started getting the affect first time when somebody was giving him food when he was begging and he touches his hand. But he ignores it and thinks this is something his myth.

But when it happens many times he realizes his power. When he touch one person he see something curious and wanted to know the details about the mafia don India and he starts investigating the issue and ultimately he figures out the villains and go to Arabia to catch laden and the bad guys and at the end he could catch hold of Laden and submit him to cops and get all the money and gold reserve laden has and re establish in software industry in India and India will be the capital of software then onwards. And everybody lived happily ever after.

Cast and Crew as given below.

Hero & Producer : Michael

Screenplay, Dialogs & Direction : RaviKiran

Dance, Stunts, Comedy, Makeup,…….. : B2B Tech Team.

Hope this story entertained you as expected.